It doesn’t look to me like he has the word ‘victim’ tatooed on his forehead, so why do they do this?
The matter is finally in hand (I hope) after 7 months of victimisation (and not all by pupils of the school, but sadly, by one staff member too) since he started high school last September, aged 11 (he’s still 11). My son is now somewhere on a wait-list for mentoring with a professional mentor…to get heard, since up till now no-one in the school system has actually wanted to listen to him.
The bullies have been ‘spoken to severely’, apparantly.
Wonderboy has also been given the oportunity to change classes -so that he has no lessons with the bullies – of course, they won’t remove the bullies from their classes- Wonderboy is the one who has to be moved-less work for them. He doesn’t particularly want to do this, he just wants the other boys to be dealt with so he can get on with his work and stay in a class/form that is familiar to him.
I think I’d prefer him to move and have a fresh start- all his lessons will be with pupils he’s never had lessons with before- but we don’t have to rush a decision- even though yesterday we were told we had only last evening to think about it and the school wanted an answer by today! If he stays where he is there is a danger of this happening again with the same bullies and of the teacher who has been doing her own kind of bullying, continuing to do so. I understand my son’s reluctance, and I know that though I can guide his decision, he has to choose because he has another four and a half years in that school.
I hate to see my child hurting and yet I ask him to not retaliate when he is being hit, when a part of me wants to educate him on which parts of the body can incurr the most pain with the minimum physical manipulation. Having said that, I do give him permission to defend himself. I just don’t want him to be the aggressor.
Wonderboy is a caring and sensitive kid, I believe it’s because he doesn’t smoke, drink, brag about having 11 year old sex, swear at the teachers and kick the crud out of his classmates that makes him a target. Perhaps if he was just like the bully boys, he wouldn’t be seen to be ‘fair game’. I know which I’d prefer for a son.
Interestingly, and not perhaps, unusually, the current bully is the best friend of the last bully who I wrote about here
There’s been a significant change in Wonderboy’s behaviour over recent months too, he’s much more withdrawn and uncomunicative and these aren’t changes for the better, they’re changes that make me worry even more about him. He’s also become much more ‘snappy’ and short tempered, it’s like my son went away on vacation and left behind someone who looks like my son but has an almost totally different personality.
When my son is on holiday from school he is back to his old self, happy and relaxed, but there aren’t enough holidays, I’m sure both my children would agree 🙂
Like one staff member said today…bullying, especially to the extent that my son has experienced it, can stay with a child throughout their life. Yes it can, it can affect the child’s social situations, their sense of self worth, their employment opportunities, their relationships, everything in fact.
I just hope that this is finally getting sorted, but then I seem to recall saying that last time…and the time before….and the time before that 😦
Please, if you can spare a prayer, send one up for Wonderboy. Thank you.