Wonderboy had his second set of ‘outjections’ this week….he calls them ‘outjections’ since nothing is injected into his body and yet blood is removed.
That’s the way Wonderboy thinks.
He has an interesting take on things.
Tonight he told the most wonderful joke which i can’t share as it is about flatulence and some of you may find it distasteful but seriously, there was even some geographical (not bodily geographical!!!) aspects thrown in and I thought it was really impressive for his mind to work so quickly.
I worry about his blood results.
Will they show once more that he has a raised red blood cell count?
Will it begin a treadmill of hospital visits and tests, will the tests hurt him, will he be even more anxious than he is now (there are other things happening to him physically that I can’t write about here) ?
Only a week or so to go until we return to the doctors.
Perhaps they got the first set of results mixed up with someone elses?
Perhaps there will be a relatively painless and simple treatment plan, as was mentioned in the combox of the previous post about Wonderboy (by Carol I think- thank you).
At this point there is still no knowing and that is what is so difficult.
Wonderboy asked me if he has cancer, I was shocked he would think such a thing.
I said no.
Wonderboy asked me if the bloods came back positive for a raised red blood cell count again, would it be serious?
I couldn’t lie.
I said that I thought it was unlikely (okay, slight lie) that it was very serious, but that whatever happened we would face this together and he wouldn’t go through it alone.
What else can one say to their child?
Since time has dragged on about this I feel I’ve been lulled into some false sense of security..that because there is no ‘medical immediacy’ surrounding his care from the doctor, that everything is ‘okay’.
Today I asked if I could check Wonderboy’s head-lump…he’s been very objectionable to such requests for weeks…but today he let me…I couldn’t feel anything much anymore…but then guided my hand almost to the other side at the back of his head and I could feel another small lump…I don’t know if it’s the same one that’s moved or if he just has a bumpy head or if this is all tied in with what the tests have indicated thus far….which is….well, i know not what they indicate actually.
And he is having more regular nose bleeds…
And his headaches are increasing.
Today the school sent him home as he was feeling unwell. But generally he is playful and cheeky, annoying and laugh a minute….he’s not sticken with illness and laying on the sofa groaning or anything…that’s probably why this all seems so weird acually.
Wonderboy is very highly strung, he’s never been able to sit still for more than 20 seconds straight and has for many months shirked off all my attempts at showing him affection…but I sense he is anxious….I know he is…he pretends to still brush me away but all the while tries to have me hold him near, cuddling up to me on the sofa…albeit with his back to me, joking that I am just propping him up….until he takes my right arm and puts it across his chest, securing him, reassuring him…
Meanwhile his sister, Primadonna, officially finishes school tomorrow.
She is then on study leave and will return to take her exams as and when they occur…she will go to college in September to study for a further 2 years and then, in all likelihood she will be off to university.
Flying the coop.
I don’t think she’ll want to stick around here, though I hope she does.
She’s google-searched Cambridge and favourited their Medical Curriculum thingy….entry qualifications and all that…. I don’t want to hold her back or to be a needy mum, but being a single parent to her for so long, for all her life actually apart from the first 8 months when her Dad was alive…well, it kind of does something to a relationship.
The only way I can explain it will sound super melodramatic….but it’s like in Jane Eyre..when Mr Rochester first tells of his love for Jane….and he explains it like this….
“it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs, tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string, situated in the coresponding quarter of your little frame…..I am afraid that cord of communion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly for you”.
Told you it was dramatic. And I know we would both be fine, course we would.
She is loving and she is loved, but i see a glimmer in her eye when she talks of wanting to explore and experience life independantly.
It’s only natural.
We are so close I fear it would tear my heart out to have her leave, but having said that, she is a right royal pain in the neck sometimes….she is scummy, slovenly, moody….that’s teenagers though eh?
She’s thinking of law or medicine, her preference at the moment being medicine.
I can’t believe this time tomorrow my daughter will have left school!
And my Fortieth birthday is fast approaching (next Sunday!) and I’m wondering where all the time has gone…but who am I fooling? I know where it’s gone ….and I can’t believe I’ve lived this long if truth be told.
How merciful my God is.
May he continue to be merciful toward me and mine, and toward all of you…