a note about comments

When years ago, I received the blessing of having my blog visited regularly by your thoroughly delightful selves, I endeavoured long and hard to respond to each individual comment that was left here.

Being by nature something of a people pleaser and a worrier, i tend to become rather angst ridden and anal about ridiculous things.

And I worry a whole lot too.

Did I say that already?

Failing to respond to every individual comment has at times thrown me into a kind of mini panic attack.

Would failing to respond alienate or annoy readers?

Would they feel slighted?

See how anal I am?

It’s pathetic.

Bet 90% of you don’t even return to the post to see if i respond to what you write, do you?

I know.

It’s pathetic.

So like a pendulum, i’m swinging the other way at the moment.

Because that’s what i do.

I have no idea why i do it, but i do the pendulum thing with everything.

Perhaps it’s rebellion?

Or confusion?

Anyway, now i’m worrying because I’m not responding to any comments. (Because of this quandry of what to do AND an intemittent electricity supply).

But I have some new committments in my life, life is changing for me and it’s a good thing. It means there is less time for me to be online. And i’m wanting to use my time more to my own benefit and my family’s.

Is that selfish?

Or do people really not expect a reply and so they simply ain’t bovverred?

After 4 years of blogin’ you’d have thunk i had that one nailed wouldn’t you?

I want to post regularly, read other peoples blogs regularly, but i just can’t continue to respond to every comment on my own blog, at least, not regularly.

I’m trying to find a balance.

Because if i don’t, i feel i might walk away from the blog for a while. And I don’t really want to do that.

So this balancing act…

It’s something that I find extremely challenging in every single area of my life.

But for now I’m making a deal with myself in this one thing.

I’m trying to permit myself to respond to blog comments selectively.

Not as in ‘some comments are more deserving of responses than others’, but as in ‘ there aren’t enough hours in the day, so you just have to get a grip, Deborah’

Y’know, there are a few posts on this blog with over 150 comments on them and it’s damned hard to even keep up with reading them, let alone to respond to them all.

But i have.

Just about.

Though i am aware that I still need to get back to some people who took things to email (I will get to you eventually, promise).

I probably come across as being a right pompous ass mentioning those comments.

But I’m not bragging.

And despite what it may sound like, I’m not complaining either.

I’m just saying, I READ EVERY COMMENT AND EMAIL and often times i will visit your blogs to respond to what you write here or by way of a reply…. of returning the kind gesture.

And I just hope that is okay with you all from now on.

I sincerely appreciate your taking the time to share your thoughts with me here, so please don’t stop. I’m writing this post as much for me as for you…. I just need to find some perspecive in this area and didn’t want you to get the huff if i fail to respond to individual comments in the combox.

I’d just rather visit your blogs and comment there, because i don’t have th time to do both.

I don’t know if any of that made sense to any one but me!

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18 Responses to a note about comments

  1. Suzanne says:

    NO COMMENT!! LOL!! Hey girlie, you do need to do what you do need to do. I sure don’t respond to every comment, but I do more often than some. You don’t need to respond unless I ask and then I hope you will..otherwise, its up to you..I check, but I don’t get upset if you or anyone doesn’t…I just bug em if I need more.
    So, with that…I’m outta here! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  2. ukok says:

    why isn’t Owen leaving his *’ripping smart ass’ comment here ๐Ÿ˜‰

    *I got the email Owen

    ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. ukok says:

    Suz,

    I am so glad you feel that way because i would much rather spend the time visiting your blog and other blogs, if it is a toss up between the two ๐Ÿ™‚

  4. Alexa says:

    I think lurkers have this whole blogging situation down pat! ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Cathy says:

    It seems to me, you have the right to reply as you see fit. You have to do what you think is right for you!!! Shouldn’t make you anxious. And life does, indeed, change and you have to change with it…I will continue to visit! And God Bless you!!!

  6. Melanie says:

    Unless I ask a specific question, I don’t expect a response to a comment. (And, actually, if I had a specific question I usually try to send an email) I comment to let a blogger know that I read and just wanted them to know . . . and I actually only lurk on 95% of the blogs I read. Do what you have to do!

  7. ukok says:

    Melanie, then i am honoured, my friend, that you comment here ๐Ÿ™‚

  8. Jean says:

    Like Melanie, I really don’t expect a reply to my comments unless I ask a question. Then, if you didn’t answer the question, I would just think that you were too busy to answer — that’s what happens with me sometimes. I don’t always have time to respond to the hundreds of emails I receive daily either.

    No need to worry about this — your life in the real world — your faith, your family, and your job are more important than this blog.

  9. Rosemary says:

    Deb, you respond or not. It’s OK. I usually check but if you don’t respond I assume you’re doing other things… as we all should at times. I love your honesty and genuineness, as this post demonstrates. You take care of whatever you need to take care of. You’re one of my favorite blogging buddies.

  10. Easter A. says:

    Hello dear Deb,
    WOW! I love your creativity. You always come up with something fun like this new format you have! Love it! You sure know how to use your gifts! God be praised!
    Love,
    Easter:-)

  11. Renee says:

    I rarely answer back to comments. I think it is charming, but I don’t generally have the time or the creativity.

    I agree, visiting and commenting on others blogs is a more efficient use of time, especially if you have to limit computer time.

    Don’t be hard on yourself. You have a beautiful blog, and it is a pleasure to visit.

    Blessings!

  12. Elena says:

    Deb, I don’t respond to everyone and I don’t expect everyone to respond to me. So rest easy, it’s not a universal requirement!

  13. ukok says:

    Well, i am so relieved to have such a positive response to this post. Of course i will always endeavour to respond to anyone who asks a question, but i would much rather be spending my online time visiting your blogs and commenting there than finding out i have used up my online time just answering your comments here.

    Thanks for your input on this all,you’ve really helped to put my mind at rest. I know it sounds dumb to get so concerned about these things, but i just do. I’m daft like that!

  14. Sarah says:

    Be daft all you like. I’ll keep lurking here one way or the other anyway, ‘cos I like ya.

    My sis and her girl made it here safely 24 hours in airports/on planes from Seattle and they’re here. Funny, our baby brother (he’s not a baby, he’s 37) sent along my birthday gift: a tee he got at Duran Duran’s Seattle show. Also, my mum made my sis bring me a RECORD ALBUM I’d left there long ago. What artist? Duran Duran! A Brit imported one, too! Bloody hell! Anyway, I’m not going out to buy a record player – even if I could find one. Still, it’s funny!

  15. Esther says:

    Deb, I do respond to almost everyone’s comments on my blog. It’s just me. I think I’m being impolite by not responding when someone takes the time to comment. I know they are commenting and don’t expect a response but I do it anyway. I may be a little late in replying but I will respond eventually. I also go back to check for replies if I remember where I left a comment. I don’t mind if my replies aren’t acknowledged. The only ones I do care about are the ones where I ask a question and are ignored.

  16. ukok says:

    Esther, thanks for our thoughts on this. You and I are rsimilar in this regard. I do feel that I am being impolite by not responding. To me it’s like having a guest over to the house and ignoring them while they visit…but i suppose that’s why I wrote this post, to be able to get a response back from the very people i might mistakenly be thinking have ‘hurt feelings’ about my non-responses!

    For me, it’s a huge relief that a response isn’t expected, which means that it now frees me up to write responses when time and inclination allow. But without any pressure at all (self imposed though it may have been )

    ๐Ÿ™‚

  17. John Bowden says:

    I tend to see comments as “conversations” which are provoked by the particular post. If the comments being left are not conversational and simply anecdotal (?) then no response is needed or even implied! Only if you feel the need to engage in a conversation do you speak up … same way with comments I’d say. Keep bloggin’ Deb!

  18. ukok says:

    Yeah y’see, that’s how i iew comments too John, but that is also my downfall in a way as there just isn;t enough time to respond to every comment and to visit all your blogs…and if i didn;t visit your blogs i wouldn’t be much of a blog buddy.

    I’ll keep bloggin’ John, because i have great blog buddies like your good self

    ๐Ÿ™‚

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