Last year i began to care less about my clothing. That doesn’t mean i wore clothes with the previous days dinner stains proudly emblazoned across my breast, it means, ‘so what’ if i have a small ‘wardrobe’ of clothes and am seen more frequently in the same clothes? Would putting clothes purchases on a credit card make me feel better, just so i got to increase my wardrobe? Does the way i dress really impact on anyone elses life? And why should i care if it does? So i don’t have matching handbags/shoes/underwear/accessories…would all those things improve the quality of my life ?
When times weren’t so lean I bought the aforementioned things more regularly but it really didn’t change how i felt about myself…oh i might have felt a little excitement, briefly, at having something new to wear, but that soon wore off and i was still left with ‘me’ at the end of the day.
If a person doesn’t like who they are, they can feel fabulous in a new outfit, but who they are doesn’t change permanently because of what they wear.
I remember hearing a story about someone in the Navy years ago who met a beautiful looking woman and really had it bad for her, i don’t know if he married her but he and his lady love got intimate one night. In the morning…on the dressing table were the false eyelashes and false hair things and all those kinda undergaments that held in all the squadge and gave the impression of a lean figure, and a piece of bra ‘equipment’ that gave lift in all the right places and helped to give the impression of a full and pert bosom. The morning after, the make up had been washed off his lady-loves face and devoid of ‘beautifying assistance’ the guy looked at his ‘beauty’ and couldn’t believe that the woman appeared to be so different to the one who he had gone to bed with (tip to you guys, this isn’t unusual :-))
Oh what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to decieve.
Okay, moving on….
Was it really way back in March when i posted that i was thinking about drawing a line under the days of colouring my hair?
I have coloured my hair for so long, but now i just don’t want to spend precious time obsessing about how long my ‘roots’ are getting. What is so wrong with going natural, even if nowadays ‘natural’ for me, is grey?
Should i care that others might not think i am making the ‘best’ of myself?
Why should I?
Will it change the way people think of me or care for me if i do/don’t colour my hair? Is my only value in looking how people want me to look?
Am I only acceptable if i change the way i look, but unacceptable if i don’t change the way i look?
It has to be said that I really do feel liberated from the never ending treadmill of hair cutting and colouring that i spent so many years of my life ‘buying into’. I’m especially enjoying the financial savings of just being my natural self, hair wise too, especially in these times of financial difficulty.
So here is my crown of glory in its current ‘state’…it may be the only crown i ever wear but at least it is mine.
Proverbs 16:31: Grey hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life.
I haven’t coloured my hair since March, so that’s 9 months now and i have honestly found it quite freeing to let go of something that was actually a cause of vanity for me. I do sometimes see women my age with coloured hair and think their hair looks really nice, but then i remember the cost and inconvenience of colouring and i shelve the idea once again because it’s not something i want to go back to.
I still have it cut and take the time to straighten it if i wake up sporting a look not disimilar to Russel Brand’s barnett (Wondergirl bought me some wicked straighteners for Christmas), but on the whole, i am just loving the freedom that going my natural colour, has given me.
I do believe that it is important (for me personally) to not be tied up in ‘hair colour vanity’ and but that is not to say that i am not vain or prideful in other ways, and it is not to say that taking pride in ones appearance is somehow wrong…rather i say it is important for me because i have found it quite challenging to accept that the grey hairs are sprouting out of my hair follicles at all…thankfully they’re no where else. yet! (I know, too much information!)
I used to value myself based on so much faulty personal logic….I primped and primed and plastered on the makeup and squeezed into impossibly small clothing and trussed and fussed for years, none of which ever fulfilled me. Now i am at my heaviest ever but feel as though a weight has been lifted (yes, that’s another kind of streamlining i intend to come to grips with post Christmas…weight) from my shoulders.
Perhaps these changes are taking place because i have a knee jerk reaction to conforming to popular myths of acceptability…but i think it is much more simple than that. Faffing around, trying too hard to look better than i actually do naturally, is a stresser for me, it’s just another needless burden on my physical and emotional wellbeing and my time, not to mention a serious infringement on my finances.
This is what works for me, but i don’t begrudge anyone else’s right to colour their hair. I share this with you as an approach to one way in which to simplify life, it’s not the be all and end all. I do believe you can be peroxide and still live simply and who knows, one day i might run screeming to the hairdressers for a ‘wipe out the grey quick’ colour treatment, but for now, this is working for me.
Out of interest, in the original ‘grey post’ some of you commented that you would be thinking about going natural too….how did you get on with that I wonder?