Hi folks. Hope you all had lovely Christmas. I pray for you all a healthful and peaceful 2010.
A bit about our Christmas.
Though things were very different (and at times, very difficult) for us as a family, we did manage to enjoy our Christmas very much. As you probably gather from the wording in the previous sentence, Wonderboy remains separated from us….emotionally as well as physically, and certainly spiritually.
It grieves me, and I am numb with it all.
But this is how it is now.
Wonderboy has made it perfectly clear to me that he will choose his father every time and and in every way….even though he doesn;t have to choose to be civil, respectful and loving to only one of his parents…he continues to weary me by lashing out verbally, playing mind games, being uneccessarily difficult. And all the while i try to hold on, to maintain contact with the son i love, but no longer recognise.
He feels lost to me.
My parents and my daughter and I had a truly lovely time. We have one another, we support one another. We encourage one another.
I couldn’t ask for more.
I have posts i want to post, want to write, but just not yet. My head is in a bit of a strange place and i find it difficult to concentrate for very long. But the time will come, I hope, when more frequent blogging will resume. My heart just isn’t in it at the moment. I feel such a whiny-ass writing posts like this and i’m sure you are all sick to death of hearing my sob stories by now….for this i apologise.
Much love to you
p.s. a special shout -out in thanksgiving for Sarah O for sending me my first ever Christmas card from Hawaii (yes there were enough stamps on the envelope darling girl!)….also to Mary Lou for caring so much about me as to enquire often about my wellbeing, and to Shell, for being a dear kind hearted friend. Thanks to all of you who prayed for me and mine,and to family and friends who know me personally who have sent cards, emails, gifts, sent up prayers, provided generous hospitality and conversation etc….I LOVE YOU ALL!
p.p.s i hate naming individuals in my posts usually because I greatly fear causing offence by omitting to mention other people, please forgive me if this is so. It is not that you are not all important to me.
God Bless you