Thank you so much for your prayers, they are very much appreciated.
I do feel a pest begging more prayers, but i can’t tell you how desperately Dad needs them…though i shall try. The past 48 hours have been so fraught for us all. Everything came to a head yesterday morning when after we had spent part the night with Dad…and come back home for a few hours rest, we recieved a phone call telling us to come to hospital as Dad may not have long left. When we arrived a doctor took us in to a room and told us that Dad’s heart is terribly erratic and under a lot of strain and that the pneumonia is now back and that he has fluid developing in his lungs. She actually said that she thought he would have ‘gone’ before we got to the hospital…and it only took us half an hour to get there.
He rallied all day and all night and we were advised for close family to come to see Dad while there was chance. My brother and his girlfriend were on a weekend break but came as soon as we called, they spent a good few hours at the hospital with us all.
My brother made the long journey back home and we (me, mum, my daughter) remained at the hospital. We took it in turns to stay at Dad’s bedside but by 2.30am this morning (Tuesday) my daughter was slumped over in a chair so i took her back home. A couple of hours later the hospital phoned to say Mum needed collecting as she too was poorly….the nurse had taken her blood pressure and it was ‘sky high’.
I drove back to the hospital at about 4.30am and picked mum up and brought her home. As Dad seemed to be resting at last (he has had such a terrible and restless and labouring time of it these past few weeks in hospital) we decided to stay at home a few hours to get some rest and that is what we did…making intermittent phone calls to the hospital to find out how Dad was.
The doctor has advised us yesterday that Dad’s heart will probably stop soon….but I tell you all, he is one hell of a fighter and today when we visited he is looking a bit better and he seems to have improved slightly. The blood clots in his lungs near his heart and his irregular heart beat, means that his body is tiring and he is no longer eating more than a spoonful or two of food a day. The doctor has informed us that Dad is on the strongest medication the hospital have. We just don’t know how much more Dad can cope with, and as awful as this might sound, when he sleeps, we pray for a peaceful end for him….then feel guilty for thinking it, because if Dad is fighting so hard to stay with us, we should of course stand shoulder to shoulder with him in his fight….we do try to, but it is so hard watching from the sidelines while each minute brings yet more suffering. I am pro life. I am all for natural birth to natural death, but even I can see how people who love incredibly ill, suffering loved ones may feel so desperately for them that they seek to bring their suffering to an end.
As gloomy as this post must sound, I still have hope Dad will recover from the pneumonia (made so much worse by the everpresent C.O.P.D and asbestosis that he has), even a nurse said today that some men are so strong ‘inside’ that even when their bodies are frail and weak, that they can go on for days, weeks and even months or a year or more.
Someone mum spoke to at the hospital today said that he was visiting his wife who had been in the hospital continually for the last 51 weeks!
We do not know how things will go from here on in. Tonight Dad was quite lucid, yesterday he was close to death (although he did not know it and actually told us not to be upset as he could ‘feel’ that he was getting better! Of course, that made us cry more!).
All we can pray is that Dad has a peaceful end and i implore you all to pray for this too. As crappy a christian as i am in my spiritual walk right now… (and i’m pretty damned crappy – haven’t attended Mass for months, but more on that another day)…i phoned the hospital back yesterday, after theyd phoned to tell us how bad things were with Dad…and i asked them to request a priest to come to Dad at his earliest convenience. Sometime yesterday,during one of the few brief periods when Dad was able to communicate with us, he did let us know that he had received the Sacrament from the priest.
In the ealry hours of this morning, Dad, though totally ‘out of it’ made the sign of the cross on two occassions and he said the other day that he had never prayed so much in his life. That Dad is turning to God in his suffering, is giving him comfort….and it is a help to us to know he has his faith still.
Rightio, will sign off here. Be assured that your positive thoughts, well wishes, prayers, kind words and caring are helping to uplift us at this difficult time.