Of your charity

Thank you so much for your prayers, they are very much appreciated.

I do feel a pest begging more prayers, but i can’t tell you how desperately Dad needs them…though i shall try.   The past 48  hours have been so fraught for us all.  Everything came to a head yesterday morning when after we had spent part the night with Dad…and come back home for a few hours rest, we recieved a phone call telling us to come to hospital as Dad may not have long left.  When we arrived a doctor took us in to a room and told us that Dad’s heart is terribly erratic and under a lot of strain and that the pneumonia is now back and that he has fluid developing  in his lungs. She actually said that she thought he would have ‘gone’ before we got to the hospital…and it only took us half an hour to get there.

He rallied all day and all night and we were advised for close family to come to see Dad while there was chance. My brother and his girlfriend were on a weekend break but came as soon as we called, they spent a good few hours at the hospital with us all.

My brother made the long  journey back home and we  (me, mum, my daughter) remained at the hospital. We took it in turns to stay at Dad’s bedside but by 2.30am this morning (Tuesday) my daughter was slumped over in a chair so i took her back home. A couple of hours later the hospital phoned to say Mum needed collecting as she too was poorly….the nurse had taken her blood pressure and it was ‘sky high’.

I drove back to the hospital at about 4.30am and picked mum up and brought her home. As Dad seemed to be resting at last (he has had such a terrible and restless and labouring  time of it these past few weeks in hospital) we decided to stay at home a few hours to get some rest and that is what we did…making intermittent phone calls to the hospital to find out how Dad was.

The doctor has advised us yesterday that Dad’s heart will probably stop soon….but I tell you all, he is one hell of a fighter and today when we visited he is looking a bit better and he seems to have improved slightly. The blood clots in his lungs near his heart and his irregular heart beat, means that his body is tiring and he is no longer eating more than a spoonful or two of food a day. The doctor has informed us that Dad is on the strongest medication the hospital have. We just don’t know how much more Dad can cope with, and as awful as this might sound, when he sleeps, we pray for a peaceful end for him….then feel guilty for thinking it, because if Dad is fighting so hard to stay with us, we should of course stand shoulder to shoulder with him in his fight….we do try to, but it is so hard watching from the sidelines while each minute brings yet more suffering. I am pro life. I am all for natural birth to natural death, but even I can see how people who love incredibly ill, suffering loved ones may feel so desperately for them that they seek to bring their suffering to an end.

As gloomy as this post must sound, I still have hope Dad will recover from the pneumonia (made so much worse by  the everpresent C.O.P.D and asbestosis that he has), even a nurse said today that some men are so strong ‘inside’ that even when their bodies are frail and weak, that they can go on for days, weeks and even months or a year or more.

Someone mum spoke to at the hospital today said that he was visiting his wife who had been in the hospital continually for the last 51 weeks!

We do not know how things will go from here on in. Tonight Dad was quite lucid, yesterday he was close to death (although he did not know it and actually told us not to be upset as he could ‘feel’ that he was getting better! Of course, that made us cry more!).

All we can pray is that Dad has a peaceful end and  i implore you all to pray for this too. As crappy a christian as i am in my spiritual walk right now… (and i’m pretty damned crappy – haven’t attended Mass for months, but more on that another day)…i phoned the hospital back yesterday, after theyd phoned to tell us how bad things were with Dad…and i asked them to request a priest to come to Dad at his earliest convenience. Sometime yesterday,during one of the few brief periods when Dad was able to communicate with us, he did let us know that he had received the Sacrament from the priest.

In the ealry hours of this morning, Dad, though totally ‘out of it’ made the sign of the cross on two occassions and he said the other day that he had never prayed so much in his life. That Dad is turning to God in his suffering, is giving him comfort….and it is a help to us to know he has his faith still.

Rightio, will sign off here. Be assured that your positive thoughts, well wishes, prayers, kind words and caring are helping to uplift us at this difficult time.

Much love.

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25 Responses to Of your charity

  1. Valerie says:

    Oh, Deb. What you are describing is so much like how my own dad suffered before he passed, and how he turned to the Lord in his own suffering – which comforted and surprised me because he was not a man of great faith. I will need to tell you the story sometime of how he had a near-death experience, and how much it meant to him and to me that he was allowed to see that glimpse of heaven. . . Of course, you have my prayers for all of you. Please keep us posted.

  2. alicia says:

    prayers for the dying, chaplet of divine mercy…..

  3. Scotty says:

    Praying for you all. Praising God that your dad has received the Sacraments and praying that he will be able to draw closer and closer to his Heavenly Father as the end of his time on earth draws nearer. Praying for you and your mum and the rest of the family that God will give you strength and faith and that you will be really aware of His nearness to you all. Don’t worry about how regular you’ve been at Mass recently – God knows what’s in your heart and He loves you unconditionally anyway 🙂 Much love, Scotty.

  4. Mary Lou says:

    Oh, how my heart aches for you. I continue to hold you and yours in my prayers at daily mass.

  5. barbara says:

    Thinking of you, crying with you and praying for you

  6. Praying with you–prayers to St. Joseph on your dad’s behalf. May God keep all of you in His care.

  7. maggieclitheroe says:

    Praying for you Deb, for your children, and your Mum at this time. Please return to Mass – the Priests and brothers at Burslem are wonderful! That would be the best sacrifice you could make for your Dad. Love and prayers, Elizabeth.

  8. John says:

    Thank you for the update . . . of course prayers for all of you continue unabated. I agree with “maggieclitheroe” there is no better time to immerse yourself in the sacraments of penance and Eucharist than when you’re experiencing great trials. I will add that intention to my prayers for you also! +JMJ+ John

  9. Angela M. says:

    I prayed for you and your family at Adoration today.

  10. KC says:

    praying here, too.

  11. Cathy says:

    My goodness, you are all in my prayers!

  12. Audrey says:

    Dear Deb, no matter what happened, do not ever give up. You and your family are in my prayers!

  13. Suzanne says:

    You know you’re parents are an inspiration to me, right? Please let your father know this if you get a chance and ask him to pray for us..he has an assignment! 🙂 Love you and Mum so much right now..I hug you all the way across the big pond..I know you’ll feel it if you try! 🙂 Suz

  14. Suzanne says:

    Love to your children too..this isn’t easy for them either, I know. I’ve been through this with two parents and a son..God is helping you handle this.

  15. Lesley says:


    Praying for all your family today.

    Much love


  16. Antonia says:

    Hey Deb,
    I didn’t manage to comment on your last but I have been praying for your dad all week, and will continue to do so.
    Thank God he receieved the Sacrament for the Sick and is turning to Our Lord for consolation.
    This must be an unparalleled difficult time for you all, so much prayers and love for you also.

  17. Prayers ascending for your dad and for all of you.

  18. Esther says:

    Deb, I am praying for your dad.

  19. Rita says:


    And pray well yourself too….something simple like “Jesus, Mary, Joseph, help” so your Dad can hear, and put a rosary in his hands, and leave the rest to God.

    Much love as ever

  20. ukok says:

    Your comments have touched me and mum very much and I have told Dad about all the prayers you are praying for him. Thank you all 🙂

    Tonight when we visited Dad, he was feeling a little better and had managed to eat a little. His ECG today showed no further decline so that is good, but Dad is very tired.

    Much love to you all x

  21. Adrienne says:

    Prayers for your father, your family, and you.

  22. Oh Deb, just read this now. Know that your dad and your whole family are in my fervent prayers. What a blessing that your father is turning to the Lord and clearly preparing himself, however long he may have. Oh St. Joseph, please pray for Deb’s father and for her entire family. St. Joseph, please pray for a happy death for Deb’s father and strength and consolation for his family.
    I think, in very many ways, the suffering of those who must watch their loved one in pain and distress is greater even than the suffering of the person who is afflicted. Prayers coming your way!!!!

  23. Alexa says:

    Am keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers, Deb.

  24. Owen says:

    Hey Deb, coming to this late – as per usual. Praying.

  25. Autumn says:

    Hello Deb, It’s been a long while since I have visited, and I was unaware of the traumatic time you and your family have been going through recently. I pray that God will sustain and uphold each of you, and that when the time comes (whenever that is), he will bless your Dad with a peaceful death.
    You will remain in my prayers. God bless you…Autumn xx

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